repressed memories

Amnesia. to many its a curse, but i see it as a blessing. often remembering is more painful than the acctual event. too often for me. haha, bright side its been a while since i have seen my tears. many would take that as a sign im living a happier life, but im not so sure. 14 odd years of shying away and 4 of which were supressing any emotion at all will kinda screw you up a lil. ah, ehough depression for one night. least i cant remember it all...

on a brighter note(much much brighter) had the longest chat ever with my mom yesterday(oddly eneded bout this time 24hrs ago) any who! we had a 3hr chat that didnt involve any lecture or scolding. just talking bout everything. i even finally told her about jess(my-ex; long story), like every detail. n even bout the things i went through in aust(i was originally using it as a form of escaping, but in the end i found myself and learnt to be happy)

watched pathfinder today, was a good movie by my standards(it had a swords and a guy killing some people; story line was pretty cool too) then met nat at dome and had a suaning session with her(tim was the target) and then met the girls after their movie outing(they watched 23) and we had a rather random conversation(of which i can only recall phantom of the opera and jo having strange dreams)

then went with the guys to play monopoly (lost interest when nic had all the properties by his 4th time around the board) so for the rest of the game just sat in the middle and played brick on my phone. haha. then we player poker with monopoly money, nic got owned, owed me over 1.5k by the 3rd round, haha. but then i decided to change game to tie-ti and nic ended up the big winner.

(i know i said enough depression, but cant help it, n technicall its not depression!)and had my weekly walk home from bishan, and for the first time i had some company(tim) but whole time i felt damn irritated, casue usually have my walks as a form of quite time, where i enjoy being alone....hiaz, don noe what to do!

'If you're feeling lost
And you wanna be free
And you feel like your world is tearing up at the seams
Remember there's light
If you wait till the dawn
You may walk through the clouds
But to carry on
You've got to follow the sun' - Follow the Sun by Forte, a mother's wish for her youngest son.