wires crossed: GAH!

yes thats the only word i can figure to explain this:

army is really screwing with my head....just burnt my last weekend due to field camp and they intend to burn next weekend with situation test. so yeah really just wanna go lie down and die. and the feeling has sorta been there since i fell out form field camp(fever) and just pretty much gave up on alot of things(mostly combat related)

but on the other hand a WO came up to the status people during a BCCT lesson and started asking us why we were on status and such and went on to tell us how bad it was in 'his day', which other than the fact he was from commandos was probably better than army in dad's days. long story short he told us to focus on getting better and getting back into the training and to make our 2 years mean something. and this was reinforced by CO's express interest talk the day after. so almost the whole week in camp has been people randomly nudging me in the direction of leadership.

so on one hand i cant be bothered and on the other i want to make my 2 years meaningful. GAH!

hmm....could it be? should i care(that way)? i know what could happen, i told myself so many times what i must do if it happens. why did my line have to become a triangle?!?! i hate this, life is complicated enough as it is without it!

SIDE NOTE: since obviously im not coming out next weekend, i really wanna thank everyone at the Halloween party. it was the most fun i had in a long while(n probably for a long while more), n was glad that all of us made it, since its probably the last time we'll all hang till like dec. so again thanks all of you =)
SIDE NOTE: sorry about friday. i promise i'll visit one day soon, i know its been a year, and i've been saying that for a while but i promise someday soon. i'll make you proud.
SIDE NOTE: sweets; sorry i couldnt have been of more help, really i wanted to. but yeah. sorry. we'll hang out again soon ok? love.