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Thursday, October 14, 2010

What do you got?

What do you got, if you ain’t got love
Whatever you got, it just ain’t enough
You’re walkin’ the road, but you’re goin’ nowhere
You’re tryin’ to find your way home, but there’s no one there
Who do you hold, in the dark of night
You wanna give up, but it’s worth the fight
You have all the things, that you’ve been dreamin’ of

- What do you got by Bon Jovi

sigh, sunday was a fricking shit day. am shift, with both brunch and a high tea to do. was busy trying to help the indian chef set up his side when one of the other chef grabs me and throws me to the carving section. so my hope for a lunch break went out the window. then i heard the buffet supposed to end at 3 (which is my clock out timing) so thought i would just tahan and then go off after packing. in the end my supervisor wanted me to go set up some stuff for mon's breakfast. but i couldnt cause the stewards hadnt removed some of the bulky stuff. so had to wait...

finally at 4 they finish and im allowed to go set up the stuff. only managed to leave work at 440 like that. so first thing i do is to get a big gulp and have a seat on a bench by the road side. all the while form 3 trying my best not to break... so to distract myself i take out my phone and turn on the radio. and this was one of the songs that came on.

and it started to get me thinking about whats important to me now. and more so, why they are important. i would say at that point i absolutely HATED work and everyone there. but i started to wonder who was i 'afraid to lose' and i realized that work was me 'walkin’ the road, but you’re goin’ nowhere, You’re tryin’ to find your way home, but there’s no one there' and it struck me 'Who do you hold, in the dark of night, You wanna give up, but it’s worth the fight, You have all the things, that you’ve been dreamin’ of' and 'If you ain’t got love, it’s all just keeping score
If you ain’t got love, what the hell we doing it for'

i remembered my reasons for wanting to be a chef, and i am working towards that, so the people im surrounded by at work dont matter, cause they arent the people i love. what i love is spinning and taekwando. not just cause of what they mean to me, but because of the people who are there beside me while im doing it.

i know who really cares about me and i can see who just says that they do. so, thats what i got.